Sunday, May 24, 2009
* Warning: Long post ahead"In every victory, let it be said of me. My source of strength, my source of hope, is Christ alone..."
I have no doubt a handful amount of victories in my life.
Things that i was proud of having, positions that i was proud of being.
To date, my greatest stronghold (and struggle?) continues to be my studies.
I fell away in Olevels, did things my own way.
I didnt do badly, I didnt feel satisfied either.
I just...felt like a complete idiot
And my greatest victory of them all is going through my Alevels with God.
Though my grades are neither 4As, or even worthy to apply for a scholarship, nonetheless, I felt as if I have won a massive battle, and me having a mini celebration with myself.
And even so, god provided.
And going through every test and exams for the next few years of my education life with the assurance from God and being totally proud that I have gone through them with God.
I have wrong perceptions and mentalities.
I thank god for being a personal god.
That as I battle with my thoughts and rationality, He always knock sense into me.
It's those instances where I go, "Ok lor God, you win"
Ah, who else can convince a stubborn kid like me except God.
I wanted to find my post on getting into SCI badly before i even took my Alevels.
I backtrack my post and read through them before finally finding it on the 26 March 06 post...
I know I have some volunteers that reads all my posts.
I think I am ultra childish when I was younger.
Perhaps 5 or 10 years down the road, I would snigger at my current post.
"praise the lord!!!PAMELA converted...welcome to the family."- 29Sept04
"so much things happened during this few weeks. joined mulitmedia. gonna have my first trial next sat... excited!"- 21Oct04
"Lays, Qiao, Cindy!!! thank god for you and welcome to the family of god!!! God will tell you great and unsearchable things that you do not know! jer 33:3 yup."- 21Nov04
"really want to thank god for showering his love and grace to northeast...let's work for 150!
sophh: thank you shepherd!
yihui: thanks for your ai xin shui!
xuan: cont yearning for god
pam: you rawk on! dont let others bring you down
lays: thank god for u.can see your love and enthusiasm for him!
jiancong: thanks loads for everything.it's been great working with ya!
eelee: thanks for your constant encouragement and support!
rayson: thanks for your laptop!
michelle: thanks for your video cam!"- 13Dec04
"xams service...
3 converts.
rebecca.
yining.
fiona.
praise e lord!
His grace
His faithfulness
to anderson.
it has been 3yrs until e revival came.
thank you god! "- 18Dec04 (my forever P6 exsheep in Northeast)
"3 converts!
thank god for.
melissa.
sarah.
jonathan."- 23Dec04 (yes, it's sarah from sound and jonqwek)
"it's difficult to balance.
i'll depend on God.
for help.
i'll try do my part.
and leave the rest to Him."- 26Dec04
"a full time christian.
a full time student.
rushing down like a mad person after class
just to not make you ppl wait
could have just leave you all there
take my time.
could have just fainted coz i ran too fast
a full time Company leader.
when the sms or email comes, work comes.
meeting deadlines.
wished i could be dead by that line
half time social worker.
need to just squeeze some senses into ppl's brain
but it dont seem to work.
WHY SHOULD I BOTHER BOUT PEOPLE'S LIFE
if they like it this way.
go ahead.
I DON'T CARE
you can skip all the meetings cause u r a sore loser.
you can just hate me.
for all i care.
as long as i feel that i tried my best to care for you.
BUT I DON'T CARE NOW!
you can think that i got no rights to reprimand you.
hello! take a look at yourself.
do you deserve it?
YES!!!!!!
ok i know waht i must do next...
repent.
more QT.
ok i'll go.
HMMF..."- 11Feb05 (OMG! work stress tsktsk...)
"just managed to have the courage to count my L1R5
a horrible 23 popped out.
gees.
the number '6' seems so far away.
so is VJC.
oh well,
i must try.
try.
try.
but now,
guides is like so WAHHHHH.
so many events before stepping down.
guess my mid year result will be so damm shitified again."- 25Mar05
"i hate it.
really.
ms chia and mdm has would find me for this, for that.
cant they go to the other leaders?
hey. i dont run guides alone yeh?
even shuyi realises it.
ok i am complaining again.
its like a mth away from POP still got so many events before and after it.
hadden i done like so much for the sch?
yet haha, no colours gold.
cause L1R5 more than 10.
cause i commit too much to guides.
got PGA. but sch still doesnt regconise it.
watever.
really impressed with shidah.
she can still perform so well, handle so well.
guess it's not anybody's fault but mine.
ok, staying positive still.
and yup was reminded of what god will see in me and not my achievements."- 1May05
"came online just to send jing some emaths paper. but ended up here. distracted. in the midst of prelim. tmr's chem. my most feared subject. got an E8 last term. wonder how i will fair.. well, with god around nothing is impossible."- 15Sept05 (I scored B4 for Os...nonetheless, poor foundation has led me to struggle alot in JC)
"today is like the official handover of the mm team to zixin and me. stepping up as team leaders. going to miss huili so much!!!"-25Feb06
"anyway, today's the first time i led the mm team. wah stress man!!!!
"3 mins to door open, prepare walk in sound track..." beeped shuzhen over the walkie
"stage L and R tv no signal."cried kym
"singers never really memorise lyrics!!! CANNOT!!!" qian jin squeeked
" ahhh...ask zixin! she on duty last week. Toilet! she's in the toilet!" exclaimed jiayi.
grabs zixin by the hand and ran down the isle to the tv.
" ahh ...cable not connected! no wonder! Left got signal...! Right?!"
" pluck in where?! no port?!"
" behind! behind the tv!"
" YES! got signal liaos"
"thank god for you guys..."
runs up to mm room. STRESS ar!!!
but so exciting!Praise the Lord, no major boo-boos.
thanks everyone in my team! you guys did great! :)"- 4Mar06
click here for the post
that's why even without the so called "excellent A level grades", I made it through.
With God.
I thank God for showing me how real He is.
From the time I converted, because I was extremely touched,
to the time I left church because of structural changes, yet people still laboured on me.
From the time I came back and witness a revival in anderson,
the time I struggled with CCA and balancing everything on my plate,
how I slide away yet, people still trust me and belief in me.
From the time I hated AJ so much, fooling and playing around,
struggling with the issue of balancing my pastoral and ministry role,
having a stereotypical mindset of JC, yet witnessing another revival and putting so many awesome people in my life to guide me and just for me to pour my life to.
Now here's my community of Hope people in my school.
(minus xiang, me and luan in the picture)
I am expectant of what God'll be doing.
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