Sunday, June 15, 2008
almost after every other camp.god gave me breaks by making me sick.
so my nose feels like a tap now and my throat is like a dry well.
nonetheless, here's a post camp post.
(this post is going to be long)
what i have gotten out of Oasis Camp.
1. To get into a deeper level of worship. CHECKED!
seriously, it started with a 40min long prayer on day0 for the different departments.
then i find myself being about to focus on god and engage myself in the spirit really easily.
something that shirls pointed out is that
why do we get 'high' in worship only at chorus of songs and all?
and i really think that shouldnt be the way.
this is a habit of mine la,
but i usually keep quiet and meditate on the lyrics of songs.
immersing myself into the pressence of god and be reminded of His love, mercy and grace.
During camp, as i meditate, i raise my hands and be in awe of all God has done.
Thanksgiving was what i got out of Hillsong concert.
Deeeper desire was what i got out of Oasis.
2. To speak into the lives of a few individuals. CHECKED!
i felt god's power and the spirit leading me as i spoke to some of my dearest sisters.
thank you for opening your lives to me.
really appreciate it and i pray that YOU and YOU will continue to grow strong in your faith and have this holy discontentment about things around and do something to it. God'll use you if you allow him to amen?
3. Media team to go into deeper level of worship and response even when serving.
got to admit that the initial plan to pray before each praise and worship start has failed.
nd i havnt exactly notice if the team engaged themselves.
but this should not be confined to camp.
i'll want to bring this back to every service!
4. Personal growth areas- joy and patience.
wah.god really tested me in this.
and i was totally sensitive to the holy spirit evey time he reminds me why i am feeling a certain way.
everything boils down to my expectations of others and expectations of myself.
and half the time, i am so affected by this big fat E.
i was glad i chose to respond positively and decide to praise god even though it was hard.
it was really really hard.
5. lastly, this is my first minops camp.
it feels different cause the people i took photos with were not with the ajcg and all.
but i have the silly bunch of praying mantis people together with me this time round.
i think this camp, i got to know ruizhen a lil more due to some random convo on the last night.
i got to know carmen more as well. thanks girl for your sms!
god spoke to me alot alot alot.
3 areas in fact- my role/vision in my ministry, me as a vessel, my personal growth areas
i am not just going to respond to them but i am going to translate them into actions
thanks chantel for your prayer.
it confirmed what god spoke to me and made me more convicted of how i must continue to seek and ask.
i feel a little directionless in my ministry now that other than providing support in media,
the area of developing in productions was getting vague and i wonder if that is still my role.
my long term goal/vision is unchanged.
my short term goal/vision is unclear.
i point fingers at myself.so much inadequencies.
'God knows that although outwardly, you are taking things simple and practically.
He knows that deep down in your heart, you have alot of big and wild dreams for Him.
He wants to affirm you for those.'
Not being in pastoral group changed my role as an evangelist.
i feel myself having a different role of bringing the disconnected back cause of the things that are happening around me.
but things seems to turn out otherwise and i wonder.
what happened god?
what went wrong?
and my conclusion is: ME
i am the problem because i was not ready to minister.
was sharing to the cg and jem says as levities we have to be ready ourselves in other to minister to others and for god to use us to the fullest measure.
and this linked to the personal growth areas.
pruning
so many areas Lord, i lift them to You.
this camp has been awesome.
so here's some photos!
thanks sister.
though this is the first youth camp without you,
let our friendship not be bounded by congregation:)
thanks chen!
especially the time outside the ballroom during games.
thanks for your constant support.
i love you!
heys spiritual bud!
thanks for this zip-loc of love :)
ahha.
thank you for listening to me and my nonsense!
thank you for your words of wisdom, encouragement and advices.
thank you for helping me grow :)
my new group.
there's still something about this group that i have yet to settle completely in.
i dont know what but yea.
my mind was totally blown off last night.
missions.missions.
first it was V&P.
then it was camp opening.
then it was africa video.
and i ask myself.
what is my role?
what do i see myself as in missions?
the answer is i dont even see myself IN it.
i thought i just support.
make videos to inspire people.
and after the midnight convo with daniel, ham, peter, jia along seletar resevior.
it totally changed my mindset.
yes, though i may not be a church planter eventually
but that is something i got to see myself as now.
it's funny but i had a dream in a dream yesterday night
and in the dream, i responded to go church planting in india.
i need to pray for burden for an area.
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